The issue with the love issue? It’s only issued once a year. I’m here to report and shake things up.
Love—perhaps the most powerful and essential human experience—has been reduced to a single day of overpriced roses, predictable chocolates, and grand yet fleeting gestures. Every February, we’re bombarded with the idea that love must be performed—that it’s about proving devotion with material things rather than practicing love as a daily ritual.
But here’s the problem: Love isn’t a transaction. It’s not something to be bought, measured, or performed once a year to check a box. Love, at its core, is action, intention, and deep, ongoing care.
The Issue with Romantic Consumerism: Are We Forgetting How to Love?
Modern love has been hijacked by capitalism, but the real danger isn’t just in what we buy—it’s in what we neglect. Valentine’s Day plays on our emotions, no matter our relationship status. If you’re single, it can feel like a reminder of what you don’t have—society frames it as a lonely, isolating day instead of a celebration of love in all forms. If you’re in a relationship, the pressure shifts—suddenly, love comes with a price tag. How much of your paycheck are you willing to spend to prove you care?
We’re running out to purchase love instead of turning inward to build true connections. The love economy thrives on making us feel like romance requires consumption. Jewelry brands promise that a diamond equals devotion. Florists push the idea that a bouquet is the ultimate love language. Restaurants hike up prices for obligatory “romantic” dinners.
But in chasing these symbols of love, are we forgetting to actually love?
We’re so used to looking down—at our screens, at our shopping lists, at our notifications—that we’re neglecting the beautiful people sitting right in front of us. The greatest gift we can give isn’t in a box; it’s in our attention and our intention. Love isn’t just about showing up—it’s about how we show up. Are we present? Are we listening? Are we putting effort into truly understanding and supporting the people we claim to love?
Love isn’t something you can swipe for, purchase, or perform once a year. It’s in the quiet moments, the daily acts of care, the way we show up for each other consistently—not just when the calendar reminds us to.
Love as a Daily Ritual: Reclaiming Connection
Love is an action word—an ongoing effort to nurture connection, deepen understanding, and show up with presence and care. It’s not something we say once, perform occasionally, or reserve for special occasions. Real love is built in the doing, in the everyday choices that affirm and strengthen our bonds.
It’s not about waiting for a special occasion to express love; it’s about making love an active part of our daily lives. It’s about opening our hearts with compassion—not just to our partners or friends, but to our fellow man. Love is consideration for others, for our communities, and for our planet. It’s in the way we treat strangers with kindness, the way we listen without judgment, the way we move through the world with care and respect.
True connection happens in the small, intentional moments—the way you check in with your partner after a long day, the way you hold space for a friend who needs to vent, the way you care for yourself, not just when you’re feeling good, but especially when you’re not. Love is in the details: the remembered coffee order, the thoughtful text, the quiet comfort of simply being there.
We don’t need a holiday to remind us to celebrate love; we need a mindset that prioritizes it every day. Instead of chasing grand romantic gestures, we should be asking:
How can I show up with love today?
Because love isn’t a thing we buy—it’s a thing we do.
Love Without a Calendar: Beyond Scheduled Affection
Love thrives in originality, effort, and the unexpected moments that make someone feel truly seen. But too often, we limit romance to predictable, mass-produced gestures—boxes of chocolates in February, sexy lingerie only for birthdays, or explorations reserved for special occasions.
Why not break the script? Let’s normalize giving chocolates throughout the year—not because a holiday says so, but because love deserves to be celebrated randomly, spontaneously, and joyfully. Let’s make a habit of picking up a “just because” rose in November, planning a surprise picnic in April, or leaving handwritten notes for no reason other than to remind someone they’re loved.
Love doesn’t need a holiday to be exciting. Intimacy, romance, and adventure should be part of the everyday, not something we save for milestones. The most meaningful gestures aren’t the ones we’re told to do; they’re the ones we choose to do. Love isn’t about waiting for a calendar prompt—it’s about making the ordinary feel extraordinary, any day, any time.
Conclusion: Love as a Lifestyle, Not a Performance
Love isn’t something we perform once a year—it’s something we live, breathe, and cultivate daily. It’s in the way we show up for our partners, our friends, our families, and even ourselves. It’s in the unexpected, everyday gestures: a handwritten note, a “just because” rose in November, a moment of undivided attention.
Real love isn’t about waiting for a holiday to remind us to care—it’s about making love a habit. A mindset. A way of moving through the world with intention, compassion, and consideration for others.
And that starts with us. Love thrives when we prioritize not just our relationships, but also our own well-being. Because when we take care of ourselves, we show up better for the people we love.
“I will take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me.”
So let’s stop limiting love to grand gestures and specific dates. Let’s make it a practice. Let’s make it a lifestyle.
How will you choose to show love today?
About the Writer:
Assata Akil is an artist, author, and storyteller whose works explore identity, strength, and femininity. She is the author of Ear Candy, Ear Candy: The Fetish Edition, and Petty Cache. Her latest project, IFE Unveiled, combines literature and visual art, showcased at SoHo Galleries in Mérida, Mexico. Based in Mérida with her family, Assata continues to inspire through her bold and evocative creations.
