What Does it Take to Sustain a Happy and Healthy Relationship?

By Assata Akil​

Hello everyone! 

Did you maintain your relationship during the pandemic?  If you were partnered, the dynamics of being in a relationship were a challenge for all and many weren’t able to keep the love bond strong enough. There were so many single people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s walking around Merida after the lock down was lifted it was a buffet for singles.  Whether your relationship survived the lock down or you are finding yourself now open to new love options, there are  always obstacles thrown in the path to happily ever after.  So what does it take to sustain a happy and healthy relationship?

First and foremost, be understanding. When you have the ability to empathize and have compassion for others it goes a long way with your own happiness. This skill can reflect positively when applied in your relationship. Actions like applying practical reactions vs emotional outbursts when it comes to addressing irritations with your partner. Changing the way you respond to things can bring balance to certain issues that need to be addressed. I have witnessed simple misunderstandings grow into unfixable problems. If we take time to have compassion for others and what they are going through without losing sight of ourselves deeper connections can be created. Sustaining a relationship in the time of Covid takes patience and understanding that there is a lot going on in the world right now and while you may not be bothered, everyone processes stress and difficult matters differently. Keep things happy and healthy by giving your partner the understanding they may need and if need be request your partner’s patience and understanding. Of course too much tolerance can lead to an imbalance, but the key is to be understanding enough to connect with your partner and learn ways that you can continue to compliment each other.

What you won’t do- do for love. After what we went through in 2020, having unsolicited front row seats to the premiere of “how you never know what tomorrow brings” brought to you by Covid 19, we should enjoy each moment. Go to the dance class with your partner even if you hate dancing. Plant that garden you always talk about just start with an egg carton and a few seeds if need be. No more excuses on why you shouldn’t take that vacation- go….now! Grab your partner’s hand and dance in the living room if you don’t want to go out. This is the time to live life boldly and without regret because Covid ensured that tomorrow’s plans are not guaranteed.

Don’t take people for granted. Once you find a person that is cool, respects and values you, your time, your heart AND wont steal your energy (or money…) from you-dont take them for granted. When you have someone that will do anything and everything for you, show appreciation. One way people are dropping the ball on sustaining a happy and healthy relationship is not finding value and showing appreciation to the person that has your best interest at heart. Give yourself some grace for even attempting to date or court in the digital age but also extend the grace to the other person that is putting their heart out there as well.

Consider Shadow Work. Working on yourself is one of the best contributions you can make towards sustaining a happy and healthy relationship. Work on yourself so that you don’t find yourself attracting the wrong energy. Take time to work on yourself and put it in the atmosphere to find a partner that is doing or has done the same.
Deal with your past so that you can be a true blessing to your partner and yourself. Deal with your past traumas whether it be with past romantic relationships or trauma from parents. This is the beginning of sustaining a happy and healthy relationship.

Lastly, but the most important is effort. Everything that I named really boils down to effort in different ways. Are you taking a moment to get off your phone and look into your partner’s eyes? Are you taking a break from bringing up depressing news topics to ask your significant other what their interests are, even if they told you before? Companionship is an action word. I used to think that sustaining a happy and healthy relationship should be easy and was perplexed as to why there were so many problems in keeping relationships together. As I get older I realize that the biggest problem of them all is dealing with inconsiderate people. People are seeking balance with no scale. In sustaining a happy and healthy relationship you have to put as much effort as the rose in poet Tupac Shakur’s poem, “A Rose That Grew From Concrete”, when he wrote:
“Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature’s law is wrong it
learned to walk without having feet”.
With determination like the rose in the poem even during a pandemic the most beautiful of relationships can form, sustain and thrive for those that are determined and willing to put forth the effort.

About the writer:

Assata Akil is a World Traveler, Artist, Vlogger and Author of Ear Candy and Petty Cache. Assata lives in the Yucatán with her husband and two beautiful daughters. Next adventure pending.

Instagram: @loveandpuravidaa 

Youtube: Love is the Journey.

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