When Relationship Shopping-Is Love Enough?

When choosing the right mate most of us have our ideals of the perfect match but what if the prospect is lacking most of the things we think are important -can love prevail or only cause frustration? For those deciding on a partner, is it wise to choose practicality over love?  From the beginning we are groomed to look for qualities such as education, potential, wealth and material things but is there a flaw in our strategy by not allowing organic chemistry to guide you? So, when it comes down to it- when finding the person that is right for you, is love enough?  
When talking to fresh lovers the feedback that I receive is always so pure and innocent. A lot of people that fall into this group of thinkers feel that to have a happy relationship all you need is love. When I was younger I heard a lot of old school advice on how “Love will find a way” and “love will get you through the hard times”. If ever money and/or beauty fade the key ingredient that can get you through the rough patches is love…right? This is half of the information from the hopeful and those who have yet to be scarred by love(or not love) and are still able to believe that love is indeed enough.
While I empathize and support the vision; the thought of two people willing to be considerate and work together to build a life together is dreamy-but it's not love.

I love to love and along with fresh lovers will continue to keep love alive but I also know that their responses may not fulfill love’s role in a relationship. It seems that those who agree that love is enough may not understand that Love doesn’t pay bills, prevent addiction nor toxic behavior or bring your lover home to you every night.

When I speak on this topic with experienced lovers, the majority have deemed Love as overrated and have concluded that it alone is not enough to move forward with the relationship green light. Though Love is a feeling that makes situations warm and fuzzy it has also been known to morph into a blindfold (love is blind) and known to take simple easy going relationships and turn them into complicated matters. Love can also be described as a drug that many have fallen victim to. Afterall, sharing your love with the wrong person could be a higher risk than gambling your money in a Casino! Many seasoned lovers have concluded that Love should be skipped altogether and instead aim for financial security. The feedback that I have gathered comes from people that at some point went into a relationship with hearts in their eyes but survived the fire with the scraps of whatever they could salvage or nothing at all except the painful lesson: love was not enough to sustain a happy relationship.

While I do believe in Love’s power I do want to be clear that love and relationships are two totally different things. I have found that relationships and marriage are the additions that contribute to love being tricky because when done right, Love is simple. While it takes only openness to love another there are many ingredients that are needed to sustain a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship which vary depending on the people involved. Remember Love is an emotion while Relationships and Marriages are choices and to combine them is a decision that should not be made lightly and for the wrong reasons. Though love can be enough for a period of time, love alone may not be enough to keep you from needing more.

About the writer:

Assata Akil is a World Traveler, Artist, Vlogger and Author of Ear Candy and Petty Cache. Assata lives in the Yucatán with her husband and two beautiful daughters. Next adventure pending.

Instagram: @loveandpuravidaa 

Youtube: Love is the Journey.

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