In Love: Are You a Giver, Lover, Seeker or Taker?

By Assata Akil

Hello everyone! 

Assata here, checking in on all of the lovers, givers, seekers, takers and those who refuse to “label” themselves- during this time of Covid. In which state are you finding your situationship in these days? Oh don’t worry, this is a judgment free zone and there is no need to say your status aloud. Today’s topic is food for thought and reflection because whether you are single, dating, “complicated” or married there is a category for everyone’s approach to romance or lack thereof. If you identify with: “complicated marriage”, ”complicated”, “dating but stingy”, committed with no label or not committed without a label, single with multiples, just being, observer, “wanteths- but- not- seekeths” or the simple “want nots”; this is a wellness check for you. Afterall, if you are dealing with matters of the heart alone things can get complex to say the least and adding Covid to the mix isn’t doing us lovers any favors…or is it? 

Let’s be real here, we were forced into isolation for the longest period of time most of us have experienced in our whole lives so, what is COVID’s true impact on love and relationships?

Let’s dig in and find out!

Check in Givers. The fearless Givers, sharing your love freely and unapologetically.  You Givers are living life while making the naysayers angry with envy of your carefree lovestyle. You seem to love fearlessly as if nothing else is going on in the world because you have mastered loving in the moment. The Giver accepts whatever consequences come with love and/or passion because they simply enjoy the journey. I am curious Givers; has Covid made you even more free than you were before? Are you more fearless with giving your love? Do you still love in the now and emit all that you have to give? Or does your gift of devotion branch from the fear of not knowing the certainty of tomorrow. Has Covid’s harsh ways forced you to become more selfish with yourself?  

To the Seekers, in the days of Covid do you find yourself hunting for love differently? Have your methods changed? Were you shy prior to 2020 but now your heart is boldly chasing love due to the fear of missing out? New Seekers, is the fear of being alone during another Quarantine, activating your scouting skills because you are forced to realize that life is even more unpredictable than we already thought? Are we now collecting and hoarding love wherever we can find it – wrong or right, even if it’s only at night-in Covid times are we desperately seeking love’s light? 

The Procrastinators in Love have enjoyed the pleasure of taking their time when deciding on a mate but considering our last couple of years, Procrastinators: are you still finding the leisure to do so? Are the options out there still willing to wait like they used to? Or are you finding yourself compelled to make decisions faster because we are turning into a  “don’t delay act today” society? While I understand the nature of the sloth and the importance of taking your time I can’t help but to wonder how much faith can we put into tomorrow? As we move forward in love we must just remember that Covid hit us out of the blue and Lockdown took us all by surprise. 

Has Covid turned you into a fierce lover? Did Chaos and uncertainty light the fire in you and now you no longer need or want to hold back? Has the world going mad awakened the beast inside and now you find yourself needing a new name and hairstyle? While I am aware that some of us have been wolves prior to the Pandemic and none of this may be new to said wolves we still need to acknowledge that good or bad, Covid has tainted the dating pool. 

During the lockdown I talked with so many regretful people that wished they could have done things differently, in love and in everyday life, had they known the Pandemic was coming and the aftermath it left behind. Certain restaurants, clubs and  vacation destinations are not an option anymore. I am still mourning one of my favorite all-you-can-eat Lobster restaurants in Las Vegas that remains closed 2 years later. And while it is sad to me that I can’t eat there anymore it is even more unfortunate to those who never had the experience at all. Covid distributed reality checks for those who thought they would have a chance to visit “next time”. It snatched our comfortable seats from under us when we went to sit down.  A lot of us were left with too many regrets such as the trip you wished you had taken, the store that you wanted to go to (eventually) or the love that you wish you would have given. Luckily a lot of us made it out of quarantine but unfortunately so many did not.  For those who were not fortunate enough to make it through, let us not allow their deaths be in vain but a reminder to be thankful because everyday is an opportunity for a fresh start. 

Know that if you are reading this article you can recreate yourself anytime. If Covid has taught us anything it is that we are not promised tomorrow, so why not love today? Why not make the first move? Don’t allow your ego or fear to get in the way of your happiness and adventures in love. I’m not saying that it’s going to work because love has no guarantees but I am reminding you that you will lose 100% of all of the races that you never run.

If you read my book, Petty Cache, you will find one of my favorite poems entitled, “Q’s No A’s and as I bring this article to a close, it has come to my attention that I am writing this article with the same style of curiosity as that poem. Just like the poem I have a lot of Questions that I have presented to you with no Answers. I realize that the difference in the two writings is that this story isn’t over. I have presented to you all of my thought provoking questions and all of the answers are inside of you.

I do have a hint though: 

There are many conclusions to be had but you living and loving, unapologetically, in the moment, with no regrets is all the answer that you need.

About the writer:

Assata Akil is a World Traveler, Artist, Vlogger and Author of Ear Candy and Petty Cache. Assata lives in the Yucatán with her husband and two beautiful daughters. Next adventure pending.

Instagram: @loveandpuravidaa 

Youtube: Love is the Journey.

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