Hello there! Spring is springing, the flowers are blooming, and while you’re Maria Kondo-ing your closet, let’s include all areas of clutter—not just the clothes that no longer fit, but the emotional, mental, and even spiritual mess that’s been piling up, ignored, and pushed over to the procrastination pile of things to tend to later. You know, the baggage we convince ourselves we’ll deal with eventually—but somehow, eventually never comes.
2025 is giving fresh starts, elevated energy, and zero dead weight. So why are we still holding onto people who no longer serve us? If it doesn’t spark joy (or at least mutual effort), it’s time to let it go.
Think of this as your ultimate relationship detox—soul ties, exes, fake friends, and toxic family members. Out with the old, in with the new. Because let’s be real, your energy deserves better.
Ready? Grab your metaphorical mop, and let’s start scrubbing.
What is a Soul Tie?
R&B songstress Mary J. Blige said it best in her soulful heartbreak anthem, “Mr. Wrong,” belting out lyrics that mirror the love lives of so many. Have you ever experienced a strong yet unmeaningful and/or toxic connection with Mr. or Mrs. Wrong? That undeniable pull toward someone you know isn’t good for you, yet somehow, you just can’t seem to let go? Somehow, they remain tied to your soul.
That’s the power of a soul tie—an intense emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical bond that keeps you bonded to someone, even when they no longer serve you. These connections form through deep passion and intimacy or even toxic cycles that create a false sense of attachment. While healthy soul ties can bring love and growth, unhealthy ones can leave you feeling confused, drained, stuck, and unable to move forward. It’s like an invisible thread pulling you back into the same old patterns, no matter how much you try to break free.
And let’s be clear—soul ties aren’t just about romantic relationships. You can also have toxic soul ties to close friends and family members. When love is overshadowed by manipulation, those ties can become just as suffocating.
5 Signs You Could Be Experiencing a Toxic Soul Tie
Not all connections are healthy, and sometimes, what feels like “love” is actually an unhealthy emotional attachment yet to be identified or called out. Here are five signs you might be experiencing a toxic soul tie—whether it’s with a lover, a close friend, or even a family member:
- Even When They Have Wronged You—You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them
No matter how much time has passed or how badly they treated you, they still live rent-free in your mind. Their voice, their smell, the sweet memories—they have a grip on your thoughts to the point of distraction.
- You Are In Tune With Their Emotions As If They Were Your Own
Soul ties create a crazy magnetic and energetic connection, so there’s no surprise that, even in toxicity, you may still feel their moods, pain, or struggles—even from afar. Is it a sign? Yes—the red one you keep pretending is pink.
- You Can’t Stay Away Even When You Know It’s Toxic
If “Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want to Be Right” was a situationship, it would be called a soul tie. The classic break up to make up cycle that you can’t seem to—and don’t want to—acknowledge is a red flag. And we can’t just limit this to romantic ties. When toxic family members guilt-trip you into staying connected “because we’re family”—that’s a soul tie, too.
- No One Compares to “Them”
You’ve tried to move on, but no matter how hard you try, no one seems to add up to their toxicity—I mean—the way they do what they do when they do it! And that’s the problem. The bond may have been unhealthy, but it was still familiar, and sometimes, familiarity feels safer than the unknown.
Similarly, in family dynamics, the wounds left by toxic relatives don’t just disappear—they often reveal themselves in how we trust (or don’t trust) new relationships. If dysfunction was your foundation, real love might feel foreign, and you may find yourself drawn to the same harmful patterns.
- Letting Go Doesn’t Seem to Be an Option
You’ve tried everything—blocking, deleting, distracting yourself with new people, new places, new routines. And yet, they linger. Letting go should be easy when someone isn’t good for you, right? So why does it feel like a part of you is missing without them?
That’s the weight of a soul tie. And when family is involved, it gets even heavier—guilt disguises itself as love, and setting boundaries feels like betrayal. Walking away feels wrong, even when it’s right.
Breaking Free: How to Cut a Toxic Soul Tie
Recognizing a soul tie is one thing, but breaking free? That’s where the real work begins. Letting go isn’t just about deleting their number—it’s about reclaiming your energy, your peace, and your power. Here’s how to start:
- Acknowledge the Tie – You can’t break free from something you won’t admit exists. Recognize how this connection has affected you, and most importantly—that it’s time to move on.
- Cut Off Contact (or Set Firm Boundaries) – No texts, no “just checking in” messages, no scrolling their social media. If it’s a family member, this might mean limiting interactions and enforcing strict emotional boundaries.
- Energetic Detox – Toxic soul ties don’t just leave emotional residue—they can linger in your mind, body, and spirit. Try journaling, cord-cutting rituals, meditation, or therapy to cleanse yourself from their energy.
- Forgive and Release – Not for them, but for you. Holding onto anger and resentment only strengthens the tie. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation—it means freeing yourself from their grip.
- Fill the Space with Something New – Breaking a soul tie leaves an emotional void. If you don’t actively replace that energy with self-care, new hobbies, and healthy relationships, you may find yourself drawn back into the same toxic cycle.
Breaking a soul tie isn’t easy, but staying bound to someone who no longer serves you? That’s even harder. It’s time to spring clean your heart and make space for something better.
Final Thoughts: Time to Reclaim Your Energy
Spring symbolizes new beginnings, but how can you embrace what’s next if you’re still clinging to past seasons? You can’t bloom while holding onto what’s already withered. It’s time to clear out more than just your space—it’s time to clear your energy.
Will it be easy? Of course not. But neither is carrying the weight of a relationship that has run its course. Letting go is freedom—you just have to choose it.
The love, peace, and passion you truly deserve? It’s waiting on the other side of this soul cleanse.
So grab your metaphorical mop, cut those ties, and step into your best, most unbothered era yet. 2025 is giving—so let’s start it off with a fresh palette.
About the Writer:
Assata Akil is an artist, author, and storyteller whose works explore identity, strength, and femininity. She is the author of Ear Candy, Ear Candy: The Fetish Edition, and Petty Cache. Her latest project, IFE Unveiled, combines literature and visual art, showcased at SoHo Galleries in Mérida, Mexico. Based in Mérida with her family, Assata continues to inspire through her bold and evocative creations.
